White Butterfly
1 month ago
Monday, 1 February 2010
The text that made me smile until i cried.
I know. but you're really pretty. 4as no one ever told you? i just thought you knew...
-8 Jan. 2010 09:03pm.
Obviously it's always lovely to receive a compliment, but right then i really needed it. It was the snow day, and i was sleeping over jess'. oh actually, i lie. This was before everything fucked up, but i must've looked back at it everyday since i got it, and each time it brings a tear to my eye to think that some-one would be so lovely as to tell me that, although i'll never believe it, i appreciate it. ♥
Oh, i've just realised something.
I no longer have a best friend.
Oh no, wait,
I DO!
& you're sooo much more of a best friend than she ever was, so thank fuck you came along when you did, and how have i only realised now. How has it taken me like three years to figure it out? I guess i thought the fact that i met you through music and mainly saw you because of that, and that you're a year younger than me and don't know my friends, prevented us from being best friends. But it doesn't, and i realise that now. And i've also realised that i have so much to thank you for, so here it is:
Louise, you are my best friend and i appreciate you so very much, & don't ever change because i love you just the way you are!(:♥
World, hold on.
Time's moving on so quickly. Like, i can't believe it's the first of january today. like i actually can't. it feels like last week that i was skiing, although really it was two years ago and Sioned that arrived home last week. It's like there's just so many things that i remember as if they were yesterday, but it's not so much that, but more the fact that i wish i could go back and re-live all those things. Not do them again, no, that wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be the same. PLus, nothings as good the second time around. But i just want to re - live. Like i actually want to go back in time and do it all over again. Because these things that i'm thinking of were so much fun. Not just the big things, the expensive, worthwhile things, but the little things as well, the little things that you expect to forget, that mean nothing at the time. A lot of my memories are sad though, of course they are, i mean i've fucked up before and i will again, but those fuck ups are a significant part of my past. Just like, uuuugghhh. I just really cannot express how much i wish that somebody would bloody hurry up and invent a time machine.
Sunday, 24 January 2010
mmm, happy thoughts.♥
music.
photographs.
France.
vegetarianism.
films.
food.
losing weight.
talking.
the girls.
the fam' friends.
elongated words.
the word luuuusssshhh.
& the word obviously.
& mmm.
& meh.
& saaaaammme.
beautiful.
doggies.
bunnies.
parrots.
& monkeys.
Kylie Minogue.
& Russell Brand.
John Barrowman.
& David Tennant.
Julie Walters.
Leonardo di caprio.
english literature.
guitars.
peta2.
twloha.
elle
& vogue magazine.
days off school.
weekends.
cardiff.
london.
paris.
shopping.
television.
french.
welsh.
accents.
lip piercings.
tattoos.
uggs.
& boots in general.
slippers.
sequins.
faux fur.
hoodies.
& bomber jackets.
art.
winnie the pooh.
& friends.
Disney.
winter.
& summer.
snow.
& rain.
the sun.
& the sea.
& the sand.
reading.
& writing.
black tea,
water
& diet coke.
parties.
the seaside.
& the beach.
words.
& lyrics.
sunflowers.
books.
travelling.
swansea.
singing.
& dancing.
♥
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Fuck this shit(:
it's like, i want to write something, but at the same time i really can't be bothered.
it's like, i want to make up with him, but at the same time i don't think i should.
& it's like, his facebook status is "[his name] needs some cheering up music :)", so i really want to comment suggesting Lily Allen's "fuck you", but at the same time i wish i could cheer him up.
I hate being faced with alternatives, why can't anything be simple?♥
Monday, 11 January 2010
i kinda fucked up.
long stooorry.
well actually it's a super short story to be fair, but it'll take a lot to explaain why it actually hurts. so bleh.
Just gotta get rid of these texts from my phone, but as i over analyse everything i wannt to keep them so i can try and sortof figure out my actual feelings. Pahaa, good times.
But thanks Becki, at least i can think more logically after speaking to you(: ♥
this won't make sense to any-one but ugh, it makes sense to me & that's all that matters.
I apologised
8 jan. 2010 11:37pm
-Thankyou its been pissin me off tbh x
She always seems to be there for me when i need some-one the most.♥
9 Jan. 2010 01:13pm
H! Hes bien a dick to you! Your so much pritteyer than [her]!xxxx
9 Jan. 2010 01:17pm
Babe he is obv! And you are sooo much pritteyer! Shes like an ugly rat er! Xxxx
9 Jan. 2010 01:28pm
Theirs nothing chucklable about the truth!xxxx
We used to be close.
9 Jan. 2010 11:26pm
Angharad i didn't know you liked [him] if you'd said i would of left it. Xx
She text him because she can't fight her own fucking battles.
9 Jan. 2010 11:31pm
Angharad youre pissed off with me and kirsty yes? Right this is exactly why i felt bd yesterday cos i hoped you didnt have feelins for me but obvs thats not true but dont have a go at [her] please have a go at me shes done nothing wrong as neither of us thought you liked me we thought that you liked [some guy] and she hasnt turned me against you tbqh youre a legend its just annoying being made fun of ever second of the day and i feeling like im leading you on but dont get peopl e to spread shit about [her] as she didnt mean any harm okay? Xxx
I wasn't getting them to spread shit. It was more like i couldn't stop them from "spreading shit", although what they were actually doing is saying it like it is. Because they're proper friends and they actually defend me even if it fucks things up for them. :) ♥
How could you be so heartless?
9 Jan. 2010 11:31pm
No i wouldn't why would i do that to you?
The three of them had been bitching & decided i did like him. So this is bullshit.
9 Jan. 2010 11:34pm
I didnt mean it i didnt know you liked him.
Didn't think to ask though, did you? And yeah, although you already made me feel like shit, go ahead and tell me i'm grumpy, thanks.
9 Jan. 2010 11:36pm
Yeah But i didn't know if it was true [he] said you liked some other guy And thats cause you were being grumpy.
9 Jan. 2010 11:44pm
Angharad i'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Xxxx
10 Jan. 2010 01:03am
Yeah but i want to. And if you don't wanna be my friend fine i understand. But I've said i'm sorry. X
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